Forest Adventure: Better Late than Never

Finally, we made it to the Forest Adventure!

One boy was very excited when I suggested we try it out with friends. The other boy was hesitant and tossed a hundred reasons (ok, I exaggerated) why he should just stay at home.

I decided not to give him a choice, which made him super unhappy. Haha!

The moment we arrived on site, the excited boy could not wait to be belted and head off to adventure.

The not-so-excited boy looked bored at first, then he exhibited some nervousness when he realised the briefing was coming to an end and the time to adventure was nearing. I had to whisper some sweet words to calm his nerves, but I guess it did work its magic.

In the end, they both had so much fun!

Hence, as far as I was concerned, it was mission accomplished!

The boy overcome his fear of heights, ventured into something he viewed as risky and stepped out of comfort zone that day.

He survived (of course!) and realised much to his delight that he could handle such physical challenge and surprised himself that he actually enjoyed it.

It was a bonus of course, that we did it with good friends. The girls were such warriors! Enthusiastic and fearless they were, marching ahead with confidence and inspired and motivated my boys along.

No Carpe Diem? It's OK.

Reading this reminds me of what I constantly feel as a stay-at-home mum.

There are certainly days when I think I have not done enough for the kids and feel really guilty about it. There are even more days when I feel I am not enjoying my kids enough. Even more guilt there.

I have to constantly remind myself to let go of this guilt which is neither productive nor constructive. I am only human and like everyone else, I have only 24 hours a day.

Despite needing very little sleep to function (I can thrive on 4-5 hrs for consecutive days, including broken sleep), which gives me more hours a day to do what has to be done and dabbles in things that interest me, at the back of my mind, there is this nagging thought that I have to spend more time with the kids.

Sometimes I think if I were a a full-time-working-mum, I would probably give myself a bigger break and expected less of myself since there would be less time to spend on the kids to begin with.

But because I am a stay-at-home-mum, I should, in theory, have more time to spend with the kids. And more importantly, enjoy the kids.

To a certain extent, I do have more time than a working mum who is away for most part of the day, to do the higher value activities, like coaching them with learning activities and playing games, or just cuddling and watching a programme together.

However, there is a catch. With more face time and being physically near the kids for the entire day means I also get to experience first-hand all the ugly, dreadful, mentally and emotional draining aspects of parenting - the constant fights, tantrums, tears, screams, demands and emergencies etc that can be overwhelming and stressful.

The challenge lies in my ability to survive those hours and minutes, without losing sight of my bigger parenting goals, then gather my thoughts and reflect at the end of the day, before counting my blessings.

I guess, at the end of the day, it is always a case of perspectives. I may not enjoy every moment of my parenting journey, but I will not trade this journey for anything else.

Life is so Fragile

A classmate of the Dolly lost her father over the weekend.

Though I had only seen the classmate's parents once in school, I remembered him smiling at me when we both realised our kiddos were classmates. That was only 3 weeks ago, at the Parents-Teacher-Meeting. Who would have thought his family would have to endure such a tragic loss so soon in the future and that he, would have to pass so suddenly, leaving behind a young wife and a few kids.

When I was notified of the sad news via whatsapp, I was in disbelief for a long while. But the news came from the classmate's mum, whom I have only met once at the same occasion, so it could not be a prank. Though we can hardly be considered friends, more like acquaintances, I still felt an indescribable sense of sadness for the man and his loved ones.

I cannot even imagine how the surviving spouse would cope, but yet, I know, as a mother to four young children, she would find in her, the immense strengths to do that; perhaps just to survive in the beginning, but eventually, she would find ways to live. I hope so.

And for the kids.... I have also been so sad for the kids. The youngest is only 4. I kept looking at my Dolly and wondered if she would understand the loss if such tragedy happened to us. To lose a loving parent at this tender age, to never hear and see the the papa again, must be such a painful memory and difficult experience for these young hearts to endure.

It is yet another reminder of truly how fragile life is and how we must never take for granted what we have. Just last month, I also learnt of the passing of the mum of one of Chip's kindergarten classmates. The kids in that family are 9 and 12... not exactly much older. They had time to bid farewell and communicate all last wishes, unlike the family of Dolly's classmate.

For both cases, I explained to my 3 kids and told them the truth. I even explained to Dolly so she could think of how her friend may feel right now.

In times like this, it really puts things into perspective and reminds us to reflect on what truly matters to us at the end of the day.

The Big Sister

For quite a long time now, umm... perhaps a year or more, the dolly has lamented repeatedly that she wants to be the big sister in the family. It is not enough to have two boys as her playmates.

She just really, really, really wants to have a little sister in the house to play with her. So they could play the same girly toys together.

Haha... and that would always be my first reaction. Sometimes, it would be made known openly to her. Sometimes, I just murmured my 'haha' to myself and patronised her with sweet and understanding responses of how she would lose her resident baby and princess status. There are tremendous advantages to being the only princess in the house. No, I am just kidding. Of course I did not say all that to her.

At times, she would ask for a bigger sister. One who could be as tall as Elsa (from Frozen) and preferably, look like Elsa. Hey, how about just make Elsa come over and hang out?! But make no mistake, she does not ever want to be Anna. She wants to be Queen Elsa or just be herself.

Now that she is no longer teeny tiny, but looks and behaves increasingly like a preschooler, I got to admit I did get tempted enough to toy with the idea of making another baby, just so that I will always have a baby in my arms!

But while the heart is tempted, my head screams NO. If I were 5 years younger and perhaps with a village to help out in the childraising, I might give in. After all, I often feel like I have an abundant amount of love to shower on little ones and even after loving the three of mine at home, I still feel an aching need to love more! It is a very odd feeling to have.

Nevertheless, the answer to her repeated requests has to be a 'No'.