Friday, March 29, 2013

The Entertainers

The boys are excellent babysitters for brief periods, whenever I need to whip up quick meals or head for the loo. 

They read to her, make-up games to play in front of her or just monkeying around to make her laugh.

Usually I just leave her in the cot or playpen and they entertain her from outside, so there is no danger of her falling or being tripped over. 

Chip has become the default taekwondo demonstrator in front of her. The curious and fascinated toddler will watch his every punch and kick with keen eyes and appreciative smiles. For every 'Hah' that he shouted, there was often an echo of a softer and girlier version. Hee hee..

We have come to realize she is such an attentive audience, for every now and again, she would display her own patterns of punches and kicks from the comfort of her playpen, all complete with a series of soft 'Hah's. Very, very cute.

Other times, the brothers will each play a musical instrument. M strutting his guitar and Chip on the piano. Sometimes the toddler may join the 'orchestra' with either a drum, tambourine or maracas. It can get real noisy but the tot never seems to mind.

Recently, the boys start to watch her for brief periods when she is walking about the living room. I make sure she has her cushioned hat on and keep an eye on them every few minutes. The boys have to be briefed and reminded constantly but they are getting better. She really adores their company and often are amused enough, which is definitely helpful.

One evening, Chip played a very slow version of a chasing game around the playpen with her. The girl was to chase and catch him. She was really giving it her best for a good 5 - 8 minutes while Chip hummed a suitable tune to hype the suspense as he marched with his long legs. Made me laugh just watching her run round and round with her short legs, which reminded me of a similar game the boys played years ago.

The little bunny loves this chasing game. It is so magical just watching her squeal with delight and excitement. We have to capture this on videos, for I know it is unlikely for her to recall such early-childhood experiences in future. It will be so nice for the siblings to watch together in future and have a laugh at the games they used to play.





Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Paper Hat



She stole one of the nappies from the drawer one evening while waiting for me to begin her bedtime routine. When I returned to the room, she flashed me a cheeky smile.




It is hard to say what gave her the idea, but I supposed she must have learnt from the boys who had cheekily worn their clean underwears on the head in front of her.

Funnily, the 'hat' fits so well. :)

A few mornings after, while changing her nappy, she insisted on wearing her nappy again. This time, she slid off the bed and ran to the mirror before I could catch her.


 



What can I say?! The girl simply loves checking out her reflections. It took a good 5 minutes to convince her to take it off and put it on at the right place.









Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Movie Buffs

Fooling around while waiting for movie Jack, the Giant Slayer to begin.


The one week school holiday passed in a blink.

A big part of the week was spent catching up on hobbies like reading, Lego, drawing, swimming, girls-chasing fun at Polliwogs and watching lots and lots of movies, both at home and in the cinema.

Apollo 13, Men in Black (all three of them!), Chicken Run and The Mask, just to name a few. They are turning into movie buffs and the dad is the mastermind. It is kind of fun though to see the three boys huddled close on the sofa laughing their heads off.





Monday, March 25, 2013

One Box, Four Ways


(photos taken in March 2013)





Her idea of play. With a constant urging of 'see bun bun' to get my attention.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

The Fascinating Touch


At first glance, this was nothing but an ordinary looking mini-booklet, which one of the boys had left by my laptop.

Upon closer examination, something fascinating caught my eye. This has to be one of Chip's work!

He must have planned to make another of his small books, a hobby of his that started when he was just 4 years old.

But instead of cutting new A4 papers to size and wasting the rest (something which he knows I strongly discourage and disapprove of), he chose to use a few pieces of those white paper strips (which are leftover strips from my lapbook-making activities) that I have saved in a bag for general use.

Since the stapler is out of his reach, he would need something to bind the papers into a booklet.

To achieve the same goal, he punched two holes and inserted two long skinny strips (torn from another bigger piece) through the holes and glued them on the other end. This way, the pages are bound and can be flipped like a book.

My clever little piggy!

I love how he didn't give up or ask for help when there he met a hiccup (i.e. no stapler), but instead took the initiative to solve his 'problem' (i.e. need to bind the papers into booklet) with his creativity by using available resources (i.e. paper strips, puncher and glue).

He may be only 6, but there are just so many incredible ideas in that brain of his. This is just one of the many that can be found all around the house.









Sunday, March 17, 2013

Unmistakably Girly

I was checking out a store with her when she spotted these colourful baubles. She looked at them with such curiosity that I couldn't resist placing a strand on her. She took a moment to admire the pretty colours before grinning happily at me. My heart instantly melted.

A minute later, as I was taking them off her, 'wear! wear!'  came the gentle urging, while pointing at the rest that were hanging above her. How to say no?




















After a good ten minutes of wearing the necklace, a jeweled bag caught her attention. The only way to get her to agree to taking off her necklace was to exchange it with the bag. I caved in.


 


















She loved this bag! Carried it around the store with a coy smile and swinging it as she paraded for another ten minutes. When she spotted a mirror, she even admired her reflection and approved what she saw with a mega smile. This was totally unexpected, especially after all these years of parenting just boys.

At one point, she even struck a pose for me when she realized I was taking photos! So unbelievably girly. Haha!

After two boys, I can't tell people enough how much I enjoy having my own little girl. And I just know, there will be many, many more of such days to come.



Saturday, March 16, 2013

Forgot.

The day came and passed. I can't believe I forgot. How could I! Guilty. Aghast. 

I have a lot on my plate these days... that would be my honest response. But no, it is not a good excuse. Unacceptable, I know. 

I promised to remember. So I will. I must. xx

PS: 4.5, this came to mind last week. If only. 



Friday, March 15, 2013

Olivia: 18 months





It is hard to believe my last baby has crossed the 18-month mark!

I always feel that toddlers enter a very different phase of development after this month of age. From a nurturer's point of view, the truly exciting times lie right ahead.

One of the most wonderful things of having another child after the 5-year gap is the chance to experience this incredibly rewarding and adorable baby-to-toddler phase again. On a daily basis, there are so many beautiful and enjoyable moments that remind me of our blessings.



It makes me happy just watching her wander and wonder about her discoveries, listening to her every new word and realizing how much more she has come to understand about her world in these few short months. There are so many more amazing experiences awaiting her and I just can't wait to show her more.




This little being who deserves so much in her life ahead and I just know, I have a lot in me to give too. Just this thought alone makes me happy and it never fails to instantly fire up some unknown energy in me that motivates me to be a better mum.


 


I have never imagined that I would have made it this far, but I am still nursing her! Yay!! She would request in the cutest way with signs and gestures and her most adorable 'milkz', while tugging at the right place of my blouse. Haha.

Perhaps because of I am still nursing her, she has a particular fondness for my clothes. To be exact, it must be the smell of them that appeals to her. This is the only child who insists of cuddling my clothes to sleep. I don't know how odd or normal this is, but she is not interested in cuddling any dolls or softies at bedtime. She needs only one thing - a blouse of Mama! I give her a freshly washed blouse, tied into a knot (so there is no risk of it suffocating her) and she will just sniff away while rolling around in bed with it. This isn't new though; she has been doing this for nearly a year now! I find it really cute, so I am not complaining nor hurrying her to drop the habit anytime soon.

Another obvious difference between her and the boys: this dolly has already developed a huge sense of fashion! She will insist to be dressed in certain apparel and if we pick something that she doesn't like, she protests with lots of gentle 'no, no, no!'.

She is especially drawn to bright colours and loves pieces with motifs. Whenever she passes by her laundry basket where her dirty (just worn but dry) laundry is kept, she will ransack it, as if looking for treasures. Once she finds something she fancies, she puts them on, on top of whatever she is already wearing!


In this photo, she just picked out the orange-stripey shorts from laundry basket and insisted on wearing them. Happily posing for papa after the change. Haha.

I am super tickled by this refreshing change, after dressing my incredibly easygoing (read = zero care for fashion) boys for years. I don't know how long I will remain patient and amused, but I imagine I will feel differently when we enter the full terrible two phase, with the toddler throwing a massive tantrum each time I reject her fashion choices. We'll see. Right now, I am just indulging her.

Development-wise, she is well on track in all areas.

She starts to self-feed with fork/spoon recently and is doing better than I expected, especially since I don't let her do this at every meal. She can zip/unzip, put on pants and even simple loose dresses and undress herself. Recently, she starts removing her nappy whenever there is nothing else to amuse her. Imagine my horror and amusement at the same time to discover a toddler with a naked butt in the playpen!

Her gross motor skills are as advanced as M's when he was this age. Though she is the most petite among the three, she is just as strong judging by the way she drags, pushes and pulls big loads around the house. More often than not, she dashes about, climbs onto chairs and goes up and down steps for a long stretch without pausing. I know, this energy is also partly fuelled by the novelty of this newfound freedom and mobility, which doesn't last forever. :) 

Her language development continues to advance at an incredible rate. She spouts new words and phrases everyday:  sit down, choo-choo, sweet dreams, blue heron, go home, banana ...   Probably an average of 5 new words a day. Then there are some words that she has been saying for months but recently, as her enunciation improves remarkably, these words are now so clearly pronounced. Her first chinese phrase: 洗 手(wash hand). 

She has a huge interest in animals, evident by the rate she learns about them. Her latest favourites are walrus, seal, zebra and kangaroo. So a zoo trip is called for to impress the tot. 

At the moment, she finds counting a fascinating activity. She will place bottles or just about anything in front of me and ask me to count repeatedly as she watches intently. By the end of the count, she never fails to reward me with a big grin before requesting for more. I have seen her attempt counting on her own, but she hasn't gotten past 1, 2 yet. She will point at the rest of the items, just not uttering the numbers. I don't expect her to and it is not important either. The interesting point to me is her curiosity in the activity. It is the same with shapes and colours. She knows nearly all the shapes in the shape-sorter toys, though she can't name all. She recognises about 10 colours and can name nearly all.




She loves to paint and draw and getting her hands dirty. But we aren't doing enough.

We have started to do more activities at home, albeit on an ad-hoc basis. Like the boys, she is a keen learner in everything I introduce, soaking it all up like a sponge and asking for more. It is always so encouraging and rewarding. So I really need to start a more structured routine for her soon to ensure she is not neglected while her older siblings' needs take precedence. This is only fair.

And I do try my best to be fair to her, hence I started an informal weekly playgroup recently, something which I did for the boys too when they were this age. For now, it is an unstructured gathering but at some point, when the playgroup becomes more regular, it makes sense to introduce some structured activities. I am hoping too, that with regular meetings, she will grow fond of some playmates her own age. That would be real nice.







Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Last Straw

Perhaps there was already an accumulation of stress built up over the months, which was why I was particularly sensitive to further antagonization. So with the untimely arrival of several pieces of news and incidents in the week, the last became the straw that broke the camel's back. 

I was overwhelmed by it all. Frustrated, helpless and just felt trapped. The ugliness of the situation hit me so hard that morning that I felt limp. All I wanted to do was to give it all up and to just run away. I hate it. I hate every moment of it. I had enough. I wanted to scream. Instead, I cried. At first, I just sobbed. The tears brought out the real crying. A few minutes later, I stopped. I stopped because the baby, whom E brought to my side, in an attempt to soothe me, started sobbing too. She placed her head on my chest and hugged my body so warmly. But she looked up at my face, I could see from her eyes that she looked so sad. It utterly broke my heart. 

The motherly side of me took over. I set aside what I felt and regained composure. The tears dried and numbly, I stood up to resume the day. I shifted my focus to my busy hands and ignored my thoughts. 

Over the next few hours, a lot was done. The day looked brighter and I felt lighter. But I know one of my worst nightmares is far from over. It is only coming and just the thought of it makes me want to cry, all over again. But what to do? I can only brace myself, for I can't escape from it. I must learn to look at it from another perspective. And quickly, before my own thoughts drive me out of sanity. 

By the end of the day, as I was reflecting on my troubles and wondering why I would be so bothered and affected by this handful of people, I also realized that I can be so resilient. I just have to continue to channel my energy towards the positive thoughts and find ways to overcome the rest.

As I confided in M the next day, my very wise 8-year-old surprised me with his optimism. He suggested this one thing that I could look forward to in the largely negative situation; something which I had totally overlooked when I focused entirely on the dire circumstances. His words brought me some much-needed comfort. When the time comes, I must remember to remain optimistic and be on a constant lookout for silver linings. 






Sunday, March 3, 2013

Uneven Playing Field

Attending the award ceremony at M's school last week was an eye-opener for me.

Everyone who attended it had a child who went on stage to collect award(s) for academic excellence in 2012. The youngest pupils are those of M's cohort - the current Primary 3 - for their Pri 2 results. (Pri 1 kids do not sit for exams, only several ongoing 'surprise' assessments.)

The first thing that struck me when I arrived at the hall was the number of familiar faces I saw all around. I just can't believe how many mothers I recognized there!

To begin with, I am not even active in this school. I am not a parent volunteer and I certainly don't socialize with any parents or teachers. But I do recognize those mothers who dutifully brought lunches for their kids every Monday, two years ago, when I was doing the same for M. Everyone of these women is a stay-at-home mum (SAHM).

Besides these mums, I also spotted 4 other neighbours (just think of the chance of that, especially since we aren't exactly that close to the school!), though their kids are older than M. Again, all these women are SAHMs.

Is it a sheer coincidence that so many of the SAHMs were in that hall or is there a more obvious correlation between the two variables (SAHMs and hall attendance)?  I mentioned this to E, who just uttered a nearly silent 'ng' and shrugged. But I am still intrigued.

Of the 9 parents I spoke to after the awards, during the tea reception, I learnt that everyone of them sends their kids to tuition. Usually for multiple subjects. A boy, whose family I know for years, was there for outstanding PSLE results and is now studying at Raffles Institution. He had tuition/enrichment since he was 4. From Primary 3 onwards, he was tutored for all 4 subjects. I remember his mum being the one who ferried both his younger sister (now in P4) and him all over Singapore for the best tuition classes.

On my way to school, I was sandwiched between two groups of parents. The group ahead of me was discussing a court case, which led me to conclude they must be law practitioners. Those men behind me were talking about epidurals and how to insert the needles, through which part of the spine etc... Both groups ended up in the same hall, cheering their kids. I already knew the parent-body consists of a high percentage of PMEBs......

Such observations and discussions at the tea reception, coupled with our experience in the past week with M's teachers, reinforced my long-standing beliefs that we can't depend on schools to prepare our kids for national exams. Not even the school-level exams.

Take M's CA1 as an example. A week before the Science CA test date, the class had only been taught 2 out of 3 chapters. The kids were expected to learn the biggest topic of the three in four periods (2 hours) and remember all at first exposure. So little content was taught in the previous 6 weeks and no extra notes were given. Pupils who depended on just their super thin textbook that contains incredibly vague and basic introduction to the topics would not be able to answer half the questions found in the mock CA test handed out by the teacher, which requires one to possess very specific knowledge pertaining to the topics and critical thinking skills. Even my well-read boy with excellent general knowledge had a bit of trouble at first as he had not come across those facts before.

When M brought back the mock test paper (it was to be completed as homework) it was parents-to-the-rescue! M is fortunate that we are science buffs, able to help and he has a strong foundation in English and Science to begin with. We provided the right resources and he was able to read up and attempt most questions on his own. Even those that require higher order thinking skills, he could tackle with ease because he was already exposed to such way of thinking, as a result of his upbringing and experience in my lapbooking classes. So we only had to check his work.

I can't help but wonder the plight of those who aren't as fortunate. Most kids probably can pass the subject, but what chances do they have to excel?

It was the same with the other 3 subjects. Most content was glossed over ONCE in school. The revision and explanations are all done at home. Again, luckily (or not, depending on one's perspective) he has a tiger mum who would slog willingly for him.

Going forward, the next big issue that I have with the school, as I can see, is in their lax programme on composition writing for both languages. How much can a child learn if he only writes 6 compositions a year? I can't believe the teachers will be able to equip the kids with the right skills and techniques to write an excellent piece by year-end exam, especially looking at the way the written work was marked. So I must step in.

Like it or not, this is the reality of schooling in Singapore.

During the week when I was preparing M for his CA1, E saw some of the school work that M brought home. At one point, he went, 'how can they ever expect to produce excellent learners with such teaching?' Exactly.

I hope E gets a better picture of what to expect in the coming months/years.





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